My Dark Past and Bright Future
by NameOnThatMarquee
Summary: A look into Eli's life starting April 21, 2009  right before Julia died  and continues on to his life with Clare. Rated M for later chapters.  sorry, I am terrible at writing summaries... read it to find out! Told in Eli's POV.
1. Chapter 1

**Thanks for taking the time to read my fanfic. It's my first, so be kind but please provide constructive critcism. **

**Note: This story starts the night before Julia died. I wanted to include how I pictured Julia's death. Clare will show up in the story soon, so stay put!**

Eli's POV

I looked up at the clock when I noticed that it seemed as though I should be leaving to see Julia. We have been together for 6 months as of today, something I never got to reach with my ex-girlfriend. Over these past six months it seems as though I have improved as a person. Not changed, but improved. Before I met Julia, it seemed as though my life would never be good. It seemed like my life didn't have a point. But my dark cave I used to hide from the world in seemed to no longer exist. It had replaced with a ray of sunshine, which I was lucky enough to call _my Julia._

I checked the clock again, which now said 5:30. I reached for my phone out of the pocket of my leather jacket and texted Julia:

"_Just leaving. Be there in a second."_ To which she quickly replied, _"Can't wait. I have something special for you ;)"_

Thoughts raced through my mind. _What could she mean?_ I thought. I knew she wanted to _be with_ me. And she knew I wanted to be with her. _All of her. _But it seemed as though every time we attempted to go to the _next level, _something went wrong or we got interrupted. I was hoping that tonight would be different, considering she told me earlier that her parents were out of town for the weekend.

As I reached for my keys to Morty, I smiled. _Tonight, _I thought, _is the night. _I walked out of my bedroom, which contained many posters from my favorite rock bands, along with a photo of the girl I cared most about. My eye caught glimpse of the photo, and I smiled. _Someday I will be able to wake up to that face every day. Someday… _I thought. I finally got out of my thoughts, closed the door to my room, and left for Julia's.

As I pulled up to Julia's house, I saw her from the window of her second-story bedroom. She smiled and quickly disappeared, only to reappear a few seconds later at the front door.

_Damn, she was beautiful._

And she was mine. The thought had a certain affect on me, I felt I was special. Julia called from the door, "Are you just going to sit there and stare, or come inside, silly?" she joked. I realized that I had just been sitting there staring at her. I chuckled, removed the keys from Morty, and ran to the front door to greet the woman I _love._

**Did you like it? I have written ahead and to tell the truth, this is most certainly not the best chapter. I just felt that the first chapter should end here. And here's a little bit of a hint to what happens later: there is a chapter where Eli is dreaming and that is by far the best chapter of them all. **

**You see that little button down there? CLICK IT. Please? I'll give you homemade cupcakes :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for taking the time to read my fanfic. It's my first, so be kind but please provide constructive critcism.**

**Note: This story starts the night before Julia died. I wanted to include how I pictured Julia's death. Clare will show up in the story soon, so stay put!**

Before I could say anything, she forcefully grabbed the collar of my jacket and pulled me inside. She closed the front door, and pushed me against the wall. I could barely contemplate what happened before she kissed me passionately. I kissed her back, and heard her moan in pleasure. She moved her hands to hold my waist close to her, while I held her face in my hands.

Thoughts raced through my head we stood there in her living room. All I could picture was her and me, nothing else, which is how it should be. I came back to reality when i realized she was struggling to remove my jacket, but to no avail. I broke the kiss, for a mere half a second, to remove my jacket and I couldn't help but chuckle; she was adorable. We continued the kissing session, with short breaks to remove "unnecessary" articles of clothing. Before long, i was standing there in only my skinny jeans, and she was standing there, without a shirt; without anything on the upper half of her perfect body.

As we kissed, it intensified. She broke the kiss, and whispered in my ear, "Should we take this somewhere more... comfortable?" to which turned me _on, _onto a road I was too eager to go down.

She grabbed me by my bicep and led me upstairs to her bedroom. Her walls were navy blue, and in the middle of the longest wall, there was a queen-sized bed. She threw me down on it and straddled me, kissing from my jawline down to my waist. A shiver went through my spine, which she noticed and followed it with a promiscuous smile. Her fingers lingered at the waistline of my jeans, as if she was waiting to an "OK" to enter. I reached for her hand and kissed it gently, then placed it back onto the button to my pants and she continued to undress me.

It was a time like this where I really wished I had some experience. Me being a virgin and all (i know, shocking), I didn't have anything to act upon. So instead, I let her lead the way. Before long, i lay there on her bed without anything on, and I climbed on top of her to start removing the rest of her clothing (I _am_ the guy, you know. I can't be entirely submissive to her).

Once we were completely undressed, I kissed her with as much passion I could put into an action. Not long into the kiss, she broke it and looked me in the eyes.

"Are you sure you want to do this? You can say no..." she said. I knew I cared for her more than I could care about anyone. I can't stay a virgin forever (well I could, but I would extremely unhappy) and I might as well lose my virginity to her.

"Yes. More sure than anything in my entire life," i replied, and sealed it with a long, passionate kiss. She smiled.

I put myself inside of her, with her guiding me, and thrust deeply to which she responded with a moan of pleasure. I continued to thrust her. "Oh. Oh. OH eli!" she yelped. Although my experience equaled zero, I was pretty sure what i was doing was right. We continued in different positions she "taught" me, and right when we were about to reach the height of our love-making, something went wrong.

She screamed, and not of pleasure. "Eli! Eli, stop!" she cried. I got out from inside of her, confused. I looked at her face and she had tears welled up in her eyes.

"Oh no, i'm sorry," i tried to calm her, "What did I do wrong?" I embraced her, but before she went to reply, I got up from the bed in a fiery rage.

"Ugh! Shit!" i cursed, "Every time i try to do something, _every time, _I do something to screw it up! Eli, when are you ever going to _learn?" _i pounded my fist against the wall, and lay my head against the wall, contemplating my next move. Julia came up behind me and lightly touched my back. Catching me off-guard, I instinctively swatted her hand away furiously. _What did i just do?_

I turned around to comfort her, and apologize for my behavior, when I noticed she had started putting her clothes back on, tears streaming down her reddened face.

I ran to her. "Baby, no, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that! Please listen to me." I pleaded. She paused and looked me in the eye.

"Then what did you mean to do?" she replied hastily.

"I meant to do this," I replied, picking her up into my arms and pressing my lips against hers. I focused all my emotion, whether it be anger or otherwise, and turned it into passion. She quickly broke the kiss by pushing me away by my chest, and hurrying to get her clothes back on. My passion quickly returned to anger, as I grabbed her arm forcibly and made her face me.

"What is _wrong?_ I apologized the best way I could think of and you are still pissed! I didn't mean to hit you away, my anger got the best of me." I pleaded.

"That is exactly it!" She raised her voice, "You just go down these... roads where you just keep going and there is no stopping you! And you get so out of touch with reality that mind is in a different place from the rest of you!" She glance traveled from my arm, down to my hand, which was still tightly gripped around her arm.

I loosened my grip, though still holding her arm, but very lightly. I then took my other hand and held her other arm, which made it almost impossible for her to look me in the eyes, yet that didn't stop her. "Julia," I said softly, "Julia, please look at me." She then hesitantly looked me in the eyes, and she had fear and sadness in hers. I was instantly overcome with grief and removed my right hand from her arm, only to reposition it softly on her cheek. Her eyes wandered from mine to the floor, unable to look at me any longer. "Julia, I-I..." I stuttered, "I love you."

Her gaze came back to my eyes, and more tears started streaming from her eyes. What I suspected were tears of joy were instead tears of regret. Regret of what she was about to do.

**Did you like it? Its getting better, and it will get MUCH better when clare is in it! Please critic NICELY/comment/suggest stuff/etc. **

**REVIEWWWW! DO YOU LIKE WAFFLES? YEAH WE LIKE WAFFLES! and you will get waffles if you review!**


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